How Do You Stop Attracting Bad Dates & Heartbreak? Instead begin to attract real love?
I was very inspired today as I received a question from a woman on one of my dating blogs. She shared the adverse reaction she had from a horrible date and the man’s cards declining. I was shocked and felt empathy for her and the guy as they both would have left that date highly traumatized.
And this made me reflect on how MANY times in relationships the other person is TRYING to do something that they think is cool. People believe they have learned what they ought to do to get the other person… and usually, this ends up being a big turn-off because you’re trying to get someone to like you while being disconnected from who you are—that borderline insanity. However, many of us still do things to try and get someone that is usually something we would never do.
And as highly driven women, we try to be perfect, overachieve, overdo, over please, sweep things under the rug for no extra drama in our lives. So, in many ways, we place these SUPER HIGH EXPECTATIONS on men to meet us in this very unideal achievement world, which takes out the romance, the magic, the beauty, because it’s more like a side job for them to win us over constantly, instead of an enjoyable journey. As overachieving, highly driven women, we have no idea we are placing all these subconscious expectations on men around us.
Synonymously we “DO” all these insane things because deep down more than anything, we want to be noticed by a man as “having it all together.” When deep down, attracting a man from this frequency will always bring you a man who will never notice you. He’s only focused on him being the center of his life. But deep down, unconsciously, you haven’t healed the little girl wounds keeping you stuck in this loop, to DO all the things, where you become so focused on him, where you are trying to achieve him like the other parts of your life, so you feel a sense of validation. Yet this type of unconscious intention leaves the “good men” or any man with no desire to want to open their hearts to you. Because no man just wants to feel like another achievement, and inherently that is why you always feel let down. Because you both are in this push and pull game that is happening without you two having any conscious thought around it.
TRUST ME; I KNOW THIS SO WELL BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN ME MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT. Even though I have had many beautiful relationships as well. Yet, there’s something inside of highly driven women that inherently just wants to be seen and approved by the masculine.
Our drive.
Our desire for independence.
Our chaotic nature.
Our emotions.
Our creativity.
Our gentleness.
Our sensual side.
Our wanting to make it all perfect.
The organizing of time.
The desire to NEED TO KNOW how it’s all going to work out.
Unraveling who we are.
The feminine wants to be seen, honored, and acknowledged. However, we will ONLY attract the EGOIC masculine man when we use unconscious manipulative ways and self-serving ways to try and connect. These are the men that always seem too busy, aren’t ever fully present, and ends up being all about him because, in truth, we haven’t done the work to love ourselves. And we are still looking to him to give us a sense of validation we haven’t yet found within. We are still seeking it from the external, causing suffering instead of liberation.
So, when we are on a bad date or in a toxic relationship – the question is not “what is wrong with him?” or “that was so rude!” or “he was just to into himself.”
The real question that no one is guiding you to return to is:
Why did I stay on a date I was not enjoying?
Why didn’t I speak up that what was occurring was making me feel uncomfortable?
Why am I continuing to be in something where no plan of action is being put in place that promises different habits, interactions for a different future to unfold blissfully?
And until you stop looking at the external of blaming men for the heartbreak, stating that there are “no” men who can meet you. Instead, you are guided to look within and see that you are the common denominator in all the relationships. You are the one who continues to keep co-creating the relationship dynamics you do or do not want.
Until you start this work, the actual work, you will never understand how to overcome your past heartbreaks, cut ties with current toxic ways of relating, and begin to attract the love you desire.
And so, this inspired me to lead a two-part workshop on Understand How to Overcome Heartbreak & Forever Attract Love. I am offering all my practical steps to overcome past pains, traumas, and low-frequency behavior into learning new habits and practices on beginning to only attract the love you desire from dates, relationships, and moment-to-moment daily memories.
I love you,
Colleen
PS – By the way this training is inclusive of both men and women – yet we will be working with the emotional side of dating and the frequency of attraction. If you want the practical steps on How to Make the Awakened Woman Crave you click here for that workshop.