Mental Health Becoming Sexy Especially in Dating
Reflect on the person you are at work
The person you are when your alone.
The person you are when your intimate with a partner.
The person you are when you're talking with your Mum or Dad.
The person you are when you're stuck in traffic.
In each of these situations, it is still you experiencing life. However, your attitude, emotions, way you carry yourself transforms based on who you're talking to and the environment you're in.
A co-worker could say, oh so and so is so serious, while a friend may say that person is non-stop hilarious. It is one person yet multiple personalities.
And as we date and relate to one another, we usually get so frustrated with, "why don't you act like this?" If you only did things this way, then I wouldn't get so upset. Yet we forget that when we are dating someone, we have chosen each other as partners to experience life with. We must remember we will also experience THE FULL-COLOR SPECTRUM of someone's multiple personalities. And when we are dating or looking for a lifelong partner, we often want to shame or not deal with everything someone else brings with them. This is unfair to us and unfair to them.
Because anger, disappointment, despair, happiness, bliss, silliness, beauty, pain, pleasure, stillness, silence - this is all part of the full range of human experience. So, the question is, how do we make multiple personalities something that is fun in dating?
Something I share with my clients, and I have often enjoyed it, is if you know you have a crazy week coming up where you'll be stressed at work, your parents are visiting in town, etc. I say plan for the personality that will come out. So, name it Sassy Susan, or Stressed-out Sally will awaken with me due to these events. Let's plan an intimate moment to snap me out of her. Or let's find a way to make it funny so I become aware when I get into my Sassy and Stressed-out personality. Like how can we plan to make it a joke when it arises? And this makes it sexy. Does Sassy Susan desire to get laid? Or does Stress-out Sally need her favorite song on? It becomes funny the conversation becomes light and it can transition into a conversation instead of an argument.
Or if you know that you are super sad or your monthly gift is coming up, what I like to say is watch a tragic or romantic comedy movie with your lover. Wrap yourself up in a blanket and say it's a sushi roll kind of night (a mentor shared this idea with me). Share that I just need some extra love, and instead of being sad about my life, let's watch a movie and release the emotion together through the movie. Then it feels like both of you are in the emotion together, no one is alone in it, and it's a great way to spend time together.
My list of ideas can go on. Yet, instead of running from all these different emotions and personalities we have, just embrace them. And EMBRACE your partners. You both are doing the best you can to cope with your life. Shaming, feeling frustrated, or getting agitated isn't going to support change, allow a deeper connection to form, or transform the relationship. Yet through humor, love, and beginning to master your emotions, know yourself deeply and intimately, you then can plan ways to enhance your relationship and make it more meaningful. You can make it sexy. Another thing I do if I know I'm going to be stressed out is I plan a dinner date at the end of the week and we come up with a theme like Old Hollywood, Military, a mystical creature like a fairy, or certain characters and we play that out throughout the night. This lets me feel like I don't have to be me, yet I can transition my feelings and creativity into another character, and it will be a fantastic memory of a night.
The root of making mental health sexy is that each person must be committed to knowing themselves deeply. As the more you bring light onto your shadows the toxic parts of you that you hide from, pretend not to see - only then do you begin to carry more light within you - and that is the only way the world around you changes in all magical ways. Yet without everyone wanting to create mental health sexy, to want to be well, and each partner supporting the other in this playful dance, it will always remain a toxic habit, and draining conversation. But remember you go first, you raise your hand and say I am going to lead myself, and once you do this, the world will realign to give you the right people or transform the people around you to match your new way of being. It's simply cosmic law, as well as scientifically based on mirror neurons.
When you read this, and you are ready to take control of your love life, experiencing more meaningful relationships. I recommend my attract love workshop.
https://attractlove.colleengallagher.co/attractlove
Or, for the first time ever, I am allowing 1:1 calls to be booked with me in relationships and enhancing your real-life fairytale love story.
https://calendly.com/colleen-gallagher-int/45min
Let me know what comes up for you.
I love you,
Colleen
In each of these situations, it is still you experiencing life. However, your attitude, emotions, way you carry yourself transforms based on who you're talking to and the environment you're in.
A co-worker could say, oh so and so is so serious, while a friend may say that person is non-stop hilarious. It is one person yet multiple personalities.
And as we date and relate to one another, we usually get so frustrated with, "why don't you act like this?" If you only did things this way, then I wouldn't get so upset. Yet we forget that when we are dating someone, we have chosen each other as partners to experience life with. We must remember we will also experience THE FULL-COLOR SPECTRUM of someone's multiple personalities. And when we are dating or looking for a lifelong partner, we often want to shame or not deal with everything someone else brings with them. This is unfair to us and unfair to them.
Because anger, disappointment, despair, happiness, bliss, silliness, beauty, pain, pleasure, stillness, silence - this is all part of the full range of human experience. So, the question is, how do we make multiple personalities something that is fun in dating?
Something I share with my clients, and I have often enjoyed it, is if you know you have a crazy week coming up where you'll be stressed at work, your parents are visiting in town, etc. I say plan for the personality that will come out. So, name it Sassy Susan, or Stressed-out Sally will awaken with me due to these events. Let's plan an intimate moment to snap me out of her. Or let's find a way to make it funny so I become aware when I get into my Sassy and Stressed-out personality. Like how can we plan to make it a joke when it arises? And this makes it sexy. Does Sassy Susan desire to get laid? Or does Stress-out Sally need her favorite song on? It becomes funny the conversation becomes light and it can transition into a conversation instead of an argument.
Or if you know that you are super sad or your monthly gift is coming up, what I like to say is watch a tragic or romantic comedy movie with your lover. Wrap yourself up in a blanket and say it's a sushi roll kind of night (a mentor shared this idea with me). Share that I just need some extra love, and instead of being sad about my life, let's watch a movie and release the emotion together through the movie. Then it feels like both of you are in the emotion together, no one is alone in it, and it's a great way to spend time together.
My list of ideas can go on. Yet, instead of running from all these different emotions and personalities we have, just embrace them. And EMBRACE your partners. You both are doing the best you can to cope with your life. Shaming, feeling frustrated, or getting agitated isn't going to support change, allow a deeper connection to form, or transform the relationship. Yet through humor, love, and beginning to master your emotions, know yourself deeply and intimately, you then can plan ways to enhance your relationship and make it more meaningful. You can make it sexy. Another thing I do if I know I'm going to be stressed out is I plan a dinner date at the end of the week and we come up with a theme like Old Hollywood, Military, a mystical creature like a fairy, or certain characters and we play that out throughout the night. This lets me feel like I don't have to be me, yet I can transition my feelings and creativity into another character, and it will be a fantastic memory of a night.
The root of making mental health sexy is that each person must be committed to knowing themselves deeply. As the more you bring light onto your shadows the toxic parts of you that you hide from, pretend not to see - only then do you begin to carry more light within you - and that is the only way the world around you changes in all magical ways. Yet without everyone wanting to create mental health sexy, to want to be well, and each partner supporting the other in this playful dance, it will always remain a toxic habit, and draining conversation. But remember you go first, you raise your hand and say I am going to lead myself, and once you do this, the world will realign to give you the right people or transform the people around you to match your new way of being. It's simply cosmic law, as well as scientifically based on mirror neurons.
When you read this, and you are ready to take control of your love life, experiencing more meaningful relationships. I recommend my attract love workshop.
https://attractlove.colleengallagher.co/attractlove
Or, for the first time ever, I am allowing 1:1 calls to be booked with me in relationships and enhancing your real-life fairytale love story.
https://calendly.com/colleen-gallagher-int/45min
Let me know what comes up for you.
I love you,
Colleen